Sitting and Stewing

My mother drives me crazy.

This morning the dog woke me up unusually early.  I tossed and turned in bed as long as I could before finally dragging myself out of bed.  I released the hound, and then made my way to the front of the house to see if her car was still parked outside or not.  It wasn't.

Late last week my mother called, saying that she was going to be coming through Smalltown on Tues & Weds.  She ended up spending Tuesday with my sister, and all day yesterday with us.  The day was busy and there was some juggling that we had to do in the afternoon, but the day was extremely enjoyable and it was great to spend time with my mother.

As we got closer to dinner lastnight, my mother decided that staying an extra day and trying to catch up with my brother would be a good idea.  So she called him - left messages - and finally was able to catch up with him and make plans to see him today for lunch.  Since Fred and Barnes already had golf plans for today, Mother invited the younger two and I to go along with her to see my brother.  It was A PLAN.

My brother lives near the water, so even though they LOVE to see him anyway, it's doubly exciting when we get to go to his house because they get to splash around and go a little nuts.  They were SO excited that they got their bathing suits ready (even though I told them that it's too cold to play in the water), picked out their clothes, and were abuzz with excitement about our detour from the uneventfulness that otherwise awaited them.  I think that I may have even been a scoatch more excited than they were, because now we were going to fill the day with something outside of our immediate geographical location that would be fun.

BUT...

After we sent the kids to bed, my mother started to second guess and rethink the plans for today.  Her rental car is due back tonight at 7:00pm, but she hadn't confirmed (or considered) what the fees would be if she decided to hang on to the car for an additional day.  Here's a list...because I like lists.

• Brother is a contractor and has limited flexibility - getting together for lunch is a big deal for him.
• Her paperwork said $47 for an additional day, but the hotline told her that it would be $100.  So she was getting cold feet by the minute..."what if the paperwork doesn't include all of the fees and it really will be an additional $100"
• MY KIDS ARE IN BED, DREAMING OF WATER!!...and seeing their uncle.
• I had tickets to see a concert with my husband tonight, and I don't know if that's ON or OFF now.
• What will I pull out of my hat (to do with the kids) if Mother changes everything and we DON'T go to see my bro?
• If she cancels on my brother after making these plans I am going to be PISSED.
• Being spontaneous and making day plans actually sounded pretty exciting and adventurous.  There's not a whole lot of adventure in my life, okay?!
• My kids will be disappointed.

My mother left EARLY this morning. 

She's apparently thrown caution (and our plans) to the wind, and is probably on her way to try and have breakfast with my brother.

And I am just sitting here stewing.

~Ethel~

The Soccer Gospel According to Lucy

Dear Soccer Parents of Three-and-Four-Year-Olds:


First of all, the Parent Information Letter you received when you signed your sweet, tiny little soccer star up stated very clearly that this league is instructional only.  That the sole purpose is to begin to teach the kids to dribble the ball, not to touch it with their hands and touch on other fundamentals such as passing.  It all clearly stated that because this is most of the children's first soccer experience, once coach cannot possibly cover the entire team and parents are EXPECTED TO PARTICIPATE WITH THEIR CHILD.  


Just to clarify- and I realize this is MY interpretation of the above- but "participating" does not mean pulling up your folding chair to the sideline and texting/making phone calls/ updating your Facebook status/armchair coaching from the sidelines.  It means get off your lazy ass and get out on the field with your child and help them understand what it is the coach is asking of them.


 I do.  Every bloody week I haul my non-athletic ass out on that field and I help my three year old understand the instructions.  I'm not there to stand in for your lazy ass and help your kid too.  I think your kids are adorable, all of them, but I'm trying to concentrate on my child. So, your child constantly tapping me on the shoulder and saying,  " Umm... my dad spanked me on the way here."  and "Excuse me... I has new pink shoes." while very informative,  is really taking away from my task at hand.   I'm trying to help MY child... I can't help it that your child is feeling neglected.  That's because your ass is sitting on the sidelines not even watching except to glance up every once in awhile and shout, "Go, Timmy!" which is actually inappropriate because Timmy is currently sitting midfield picking his nose.


And I'm a bit annoyed that because no one else.. not one of you fucking stellar parents got up to help and it was just myself and the coach, that I sort of ended up being the "assistant coach" and asked desperately by the coach to help by taking half the team and running drills with them.  Here's a tip:  I don't know anything about soccer beyond- you gotta kick it in the goal and then shout, "GOOOOAL!"- so do you really want my fat ass responsible for teaching your child soccer rudiments?


Because if you don't, then get off your lethargic lazy ass and get out there and help me.  And if you don't care who teaches your kid or if I even know anything about soccer- then you'd better look up from your iPhone once in awhile.  Or else I will teach them to kick you in the nuts/nutella.


Signed,
~Lucy