Thanksgiving Throw Down

In the not-so-distant past, we were pleased to celebrate Thanksgiving with the outlaws at our house. Everyone from far and near had descended on the Mertz household to roast the turkey, make delicious pies, savory casseroles and watch some football. The morning had started out wonderfully, everyone was chatting, snacking, putting puzzles together, enjoying the time together....the way that holidays are supposed to be spent.

Customarily, in the extended Mertz family, anyone coming to share the day will bring a dish, beverages, snacks or SOMETHING to contribute and share with the crowd. It helps ease the pressure off of the hostess, and honestly, that's just that's just good manners folks! At this particular point in time, Fred and I had just recently relocated and were in the process of settling, so I even asked for a couple of the ladies to bring some extra serving bowls, serving utensils, etc. Not a big deal. So here were are.... Chaos and craziness in the kitchen as the women are preparing the meal. And there's the boisterous hootin' and hollerin' by the guys in the family room over calls that the refs are making.

As the morning progressed and assembly started begin, Fred's grandmother Josephine, came into the kitchen and stood watch to see all that was going on. She kindly asked if she could help do anything, and of course (being the gracious hostess), I told her that everything was under control, but would let her know if anything changed. So she continued to stand, watch, and chit chat. Now keep in mind that Josephine is KNOWN for not having a filter on what she says, and can be quite a thorn in my side bitter pill to swallow contrary at times.

After what seemed like only a few minutes had passed, the mashed potatoes were finally ready to be put in a serving dish, so I asked Sarah (my mother in law) if she could grab the serving bowl that she had brought with her.  It was at this particular moment that Josephine turned her withered, irritable head to me and said, "What would you do if we hadn't all brought dishes and things for you to use today?"

To which I replied, "We wouldn't be having Thanksgiving at my house".

Once the words were out of my mouth, I was positive that we were going to have a grudge match right there in my kitchen....just sure of it! The other ladies standing in close proximity could be seen with eyes wide open, holding their breath. It's no secret that I have a low bull shit threshold when it comes to people making rude comments directed at me.  And I DO get that sometimes things just "need to be said".  But if you're going to let it all hang out and go balls to the wall trying to make ME look inferior in my own damn kitchen, you better brace yourself and expect that your TART comment will get a firm reply.

Mama Kat's Writers Workshop

Prompt#5 - Describe an awkward conversation you had with someone recently.

~Ethel~

Memory Book Upset

Barnes has a date for Homecoming this year.  (YAY!)  I don't know where the tradition of mums came from, or who thought of such a thing, but we are tradition followers, and therefore "Project Mum 2010" is officially in action. My hot glue gun is ready for action, and I have tons of gaudy ribbons, bells, glittery lettering, and items to create the wonderfulness that every high school girl looks forward to.

Fred has a friend from high school, named Shelly, that had offered to help answer any questions that I might have on putting one of these deals together. So after a couple of trips to the stores to collect a preliminary batch of supplies, I began to feel the need to make sure I do it right the first time, and decided to take her up on her offer. She kindly said that we could drop by that afternoon, at our leisure.

NOW, according to Fred, he and Shelly dated in high school but it was never a big deal, they were always more friends than anything else. He maintains that it was never really a serious relationship. They reconnected through FB about a year ago, and we've even gone to dinner with she and her current boyfriend. They're really nice couple and it's been a pretty positive experience as of yet.

So I told him that I was going to go have her look at my preliminary collection of SHIT and let me know if there was anything else that we needed to get. He just laughed and said, "She made mums all through high school, so she'll be a good person to ask. I'll bet you $20 she even still has her memory book!" HAHAHAHA....whatever. Scarlett (our daughter) decided that she wanted to go along with me, so we loaded up the goods and drove over to Shelly's house.

Shelly was VERY helpful! She gave me tips on the assembly, ideas for little things to add, and let me look at some of other mums as a reference. Then, as we were talking I mentioned, "Hey, Fred was laughing when I told him that I was going to come over, and said to ask you if you still had your memory book!" LOL ....Of course she did!! Her daughter found the box and brought it right down for us to see.

As she was flipping through the book she showed Scarlett and I several pictures of her Senior mum. THEN she flipped to the pages (yes, not one but TWO full pages) that were solely devoted to her and Fred. She had drawn hearts. His full name written in her very best handwriting. Pictures of them together, hugging at various events. Yeah, they weren't just friends...they were HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS!!! Looking at the book made me feel like someone had just punched me in the stomach. She cheerfully said that, at some point after high school, someone had told her that she should try to get back together with Fred. She also told me that when we were on our way over to her house, her son had asked her who Fred was, and her current boyfriend said "Your mother's high school sweetheart". ....Nice.

Scarlett and I didn't stay very much longer after that whole revelation. I don't know that there's a Hallmark thank you card that would quite capture how I felt. Maybe....

"Thanks for the help! Now it's time to get a grip and move the fuck on!?"

OR

"Thanks for the help! I liked you BEFORE, but now you seem less interesting and more ignorant."

I think that there are appropriate ways to discuss prior relationships with someone's wife. Mentioning that there were considerations about trying to rekindle the old flame?....not so much! Needless to say, if I have any questions about mum assembly from this point on, I will be looking for answers elsewhere.

~Ethel~