Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Awkward Conversations

Barnes is getting ready to leave for school right now.

I was up late lastnight reading an awesome book making the kids' lunches, and I am dragging.

When he comes into the kitchen every morning it's always a surprise to see how the morning will unfold. Will he be chipper, chatty, a little on the bitchy side, or quiet. God forbid he's quiet!

So this morning he drags his barely dressed self into the den and grumbles a little bit about how tired he is. Then he bangs around in the kitchen to find something to eat. At some point he realizes, "hey, I need to get some new music on my mp3" so he rummages around, brings it to me, and I get him loaded up with some new tunes.

This is about when he drops it on me...

What's a douche? Is it really shaped like a baby bottle?

REALLY?!? It's not even 6:00am and you throw this at me?!


So I did what I always do... I took a deep breath and told him all of the nitty-gritty details. I felt awkward, I'm not gonna lie. I don't know if HE did. But hey, now he can get on the bus and have an educated conversation about feminine hygiene, cootchie stank, and what a douche REALLY looks like, and how it works, right?

It makes me feel better knowing that that he heard the correct information from me, rather than the maybe-not-so-accurate bullshit information that he has obviously heard from someone else's idiot child at school.

I need more caffeine...



  1. Oh my!!! Hats off to you Ethel~~ I don't know that I could have that conversation with my daughters without talking through a screen or something!!

  2. I don't even know what to say to this.

    Be glad he felt comfortable enough with you to ask.

  3. I either need two cups of coffee or four cocktails before I'm willing to answer things like that. Especially before 8:00 am.

    On the other hand, yeah, I totally agree that at least he felt comfortable enough to ask.

  4. Looking at my one year old and thinking boarding school seems like an awesome option.