Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Bullying- Part2

If you missed part 1, you can read it here.  I was new to my school and two classmates started bullying me on the playground unexpectedly.  When the incident was over, I thought and hoped it would never happen again.  It did.

A few weeks later, a classmate invited my best friend and I to her slumber party.  We were so excited and quickly made plans to stay up all night-giggling and doing all the things girls do at slumber parties.  I couldn't wait.

The day of the slumber party, my best friend was sick and didn't go to school and was unable to attend the slumber party.  I was sad, but still looking forward to the party.  The girl that invited me lived in my neighborhood, we got along well and there were others from my class invited, so I was feeling pretty good about it.  That is, until I actually showed up.

The two mean girls were there.  I hadn't even considered the fact they might be invited.  My heart sank, but I was already there and didn't want to leave.  The whole evening was a blast- we had pizza and cake and watched the birthday girl open presents.  There were games and laughing.  Her dad and stepmom were there the whole time and everyone was really nice and the two mean girls, just didn't really interact with me.  They weren't ugly to me or anything, they just kept their distance.  I figured I could make it through the night by just hanging out with the people I liked and avoiding them too.  I was wrong.

After my friend's parents went to bed, it was like a switch was flipped.  All of the girls assembled in the living room and sat on the couch to watch television.  The two mean girls spread out a little so that there would be no room for me on the couch.  I noticed, but pretended I didn't and went to sit on the other end of the couch at which time one of the other girls kicked me off.  Literally kicked, with her foot.  They told me that babies couldn't sit on the couch. And, still too stubborn to leave, I sat on the floor to watch television (secretly feeling sick to my stomach) and one of the Meanies, turned off the television and announced very loudly that she wanted to play a game.  They went down the line on the couch one-by-one and basically said something about me.  "You have chubby thighs."  "You're ugly."  "You're stupid." " You're a baby."  "Those are ugly pants!"  and the abuse went on.  They laughed and giggled and went down the row over and over throwing insults at me.

I couldn't understand what I had done to deserve this.  Why did they dislike me?   Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I felt the tears welling up and I got up and ran back to the girl's bedroom.  I have a very vivid memory of sitting on her bed trying to nonchalantly play with her Rubik's cube while staring at tears falling on the brightly-colored squares of the toy.

They followed me back there.   " Oh look! She IS a baby!  Cry baby, cry baby... go home to your momma!!"  And that was really all I wanted at that point, but it was almost midnight.  I didn't care, and I picked up the phone to call my mom to come get me.  As soon as I picked up the phone, the girls continued to taunt, but the birthday girl panicked.  I don't know if she was afraid she would get in trouble or what, but she started begging me not to call my mom.  By then, I already had my sleepy mother on the phone and I asked her, through sobs, to please come get me.  She said she was on her way.  About ten minutes later, her car drove up an I left.

I don't know what the birthday girl told her parents about why I left, but I do know that the following Monday at school, she told me that her stepmom said I wasn't allowed over at their house anymore.  Leaving me to feel that I had somehow done something wrong and that I was to blame for the whole incident.

For reasons unexplained, the bullying from those two in particular let up a few weeks later.  I don't know if they felt I was sufficiently tortured or if they found someone else to go after, but it stopped and I was thankful.  One of the girls moved a few years later, but the other one went to school with me all the way up until we graduated and she never liked me.  And I never knew why.

**Note- Until that point, I had never even considered myself fat (and I wasn't) but I suddenly started seeing extra skin as fat.  I WAS fat and I WAS ugly.  Stupid too.  I began to believe what they were saying.  And this caused undue stress as a teenager when I weighed NINETY EIGHT POUNDS and thought I was fat.  I don't care what people say- bullying does have lasting effects on those that were victimized.



  1. I'm going to use my universal word and tell you that some people are assholes. And in this case, it would be two people. I feel like people who bully have underlying issues of their own and that they are taught this behavior at home. It makes me wonder what their parents are like, and if they're A-holes too!

    I'm sorry you had to go through that - but remember that you are a better person then they are. You rock, while they are A-holes =-D

  2. This makes me so mad. I wish you had knew me then because I would totally have taken care of those two bullies. So, so wrong.

  3. Okay, now i feel a lot better that we dont' let our daughter go to sleepover parties. Actually, I can't think of a single one that ever went well as a teen or pre-teen...

    Lots of tears, and lots of misbehavior...